There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
