What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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