it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
