dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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