i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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