he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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