I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
