return my video game
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
