talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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