We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
