hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize