shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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