Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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