I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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