My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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