After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize