oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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