i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
