When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
