Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize