i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
