He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
