maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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