Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
