I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
