this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize