we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
