just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he fucked my hip out of place.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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