She announced her abortion via fbk
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
