Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
That's when you crack a 10am beer
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
