Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
