Only a mothe r could love this liver
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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