what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
