he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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