so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
