The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
