I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
