hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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