Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
