are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
