At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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