Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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