I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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