words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
