I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
