How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
