i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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