12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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