I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
