So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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