nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
