can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
People in love make me want to vomit
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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