I seem to have left my pride at pride
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Sacagawea was the original milf.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I am naked and annoyed.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
