My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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