I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
