At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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