yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
