i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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