But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
