Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
