i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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