who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize