just come out here and I will go home with you...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
