Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
