every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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