KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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