That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
