all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
