The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
