Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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